'Just Ignore Him' by Alan Davies
When celebrity biographies get released, it's usually to great fanfares and fireworks as each flashy hardback vies for our attention in the pre-Christmas glut. My latest read - 'Just Ignore Him' by Alan Davies - got my attention because it seemed to do the opposite of that. Just look at the cover; a simple image of a young Davies in white t-shirt looking straight into the camera. Somehow cautiously bold, it's a long way from the usual stage-managed images we've come to expect on such books. The only flash of colour is the red of his football shorts, leaving the book dominated by a brown-black that sits in stark contrast to the bright yellows, blues and whites of other biographies that I've read. So what's going on?
His Story
In 'Just Ignore Him', Davies talks about his family and childhood, exploring and - importantly - challenging the characters and incidents that shaped the young Alan. At the age of 6 and a half, Davies lost his mum to leukaemia. Tragedy enough, but made much worse by the decision to tell neither her nor her children that the illness was terminal. To the end, she, Alan and his brother and sister believed that one day she would recover and come home. With his mother gone, the Davies' home became the dominion of his father. The nurtured bounty of his mother's vegetable patch and flower beds were side-lined for precisely-marked sports pitches. Expenditure on clothes for growing children became non-existent. And Davies' father began to sexually abuse him. Forty years on, the discovery of his now senile father's teen porn collection triggers an insightful and emotional journey in which Davies revisits his 1970s childhood and re-evaluates the relationship between his father's actions and his own behaviour.
A Way with Words
One thing that struck me particularly about 'Just Ignore Him' was how beautifully written it is. I understand that this book began while Davies was doing an MA in Creative Writing, and he clearly thrived on the course. The descriptions are emotive and powerful and like nothing I've read in memoirs of a similar nature before. Davies has managed to recreate aspects of his childhood, both joyous and traumatic, which connect with the reader and allow us to travel with him as he processes his memories and finds some sort of peace.
Justice
One of the most interesting aspects of 'Just Ignore Him' for me was the conclusion. The narrative for abuse cases in popular culture often seems to follow two lines, neither of which seem to give much enduring comfort to the victim; conviction, followed by appeals and fights to get sentences extended or compensation, or no conviction at all. The only other one I can think of is death of the perpetrator, but whether that feels like justice to anyone involved I couldn't say. In 'Just Ignore Him', Davies is fortunate to have the funds, legal advice and strength to pursue a process which, while it can't lead to a conviction, does give him closure, the holy grail outcome of any traumatic experience. My only thought was that he was in a privileged position to be able to afford to do what he does, but that doesn't take away that I'm glad he could.
Overall
'Just Ignore Him' is not your usual celebrity memoir. While it has it's humorous moments, it doesn't feel stocking-filler disposable and you won't find any anecdotes of the rich and famous within its pages, which I know will disappoint some. Neither is it a misery memoir. Although I've read a few of these in the past, they could have a whiff of voyeurism about them, and 'Just Ignore Him' simply doesn't. It's the story of someone who has not only found the strength to reassess their formative years from the perspective of an adult and a parent, but to unbury and process their trauma and gain fresh understanding of who they were and who they are. It reminds the reader that bad behaviour may not always mean a bad child, that it's important to look beyond the surface rather than make rush judgements and miss something important.
'Just Ignore Him' offers a different abuse narrative, one that gives the victim back power over themselves. It's a story of survival, and, as such, is inspirational.
Now, what next...?
'Just Ignore Him' by Alan Davies was published in hardback by Little, Brown in 2020.
