'Kill the Black One First' AKA 'A Search for Belonging' by Michael Fuller (535, 2019)
I've discovered the library's audiobook app. Talk about a kid in a sweet shop! There's so much to choose from, but I stopped short when I saw 'Kill the Black One First' by Michael Fuller listed. With a shocking title like that, I had to take a closer look.
'KTBOF' is the autobiography of Michael Fuller, Britain's first ever black Chief Constable. Not that the journey to the top of the policing profession was easy. Born to Windrush-generation immigrants but brought up in care, Fuller's progress was constantly hampered by prejudices based on his skin colour and early life. Society treated him like he would only ever be a troublemaker, but, with the words of his respected foster parent Margaret ringing in his ears, he learned to stop and think before reacting, and believe in himself when nobody else would. Determined to pursue a career in the police force from a young age, Fuller took advantage of every educational opportunity available and worked hard to excel. Unfortunately, when he realised his dream, he found himself caught in a cultural crossfire. In his workplace, racist jokes and prejudice were the norm and National Front posters an accepted feature of the canteen noticeboard. Meanwhile, black people's attitude to the police ranged from understandable suspicion to outright hatred. Fuller's memoir spans 40 turbulent years, encompassing the Brixton Riots (where the book's title was shouted while he faced the crowd as part of a team of white colleagues), the murder of Stephen Lawrence and early attempts to change the police's institutional racism, but it remains a personal story of a shamefully persistent society-wide failure.
I love a good autobiography and this is one of the most interesting that I've come across. With a level of calm precision that I know I would never be able to muster, Fuller describes a life so full of prejudice that it seems incredible he had the will to go on, never mind make it to the top of his chosen profession. The stupidity and pettiness of some of the things he's experienced, even as a senior officer, is mind-boggling. It's also illuminating, as you recognise how privileged white people are not to have to put up with such nonsensical BS on a regular basis.
As a piece of history, recording a particular time and place, it's also a worthwhile listen. Not many people can have been in the position of experiencing both sides of this issue, and even fewer would have the intelligence and eloquence to analyse and explain it with such clarity. It's shameful that we're still trying to address the same ignorance, prejudice and aggression in the 21st century.
Overall, I think 'KTBOF' is an interesting and enlightening autobiography and I'm glad that it caught my eye in the library's list. If you're looking out for it, note that it's since been retitled 'A Search for Belonging'.
This review is based on the e-audiobook version of Michael Fuller's book, borrowed for free via my local library. Note that later editions are titled 'A Search for Belonging'.
